An update of sorts

Since I last updated life has been a bit up and down. Nana got better. We celebrated Christmas, my grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniv, we celebrated my aunti's birthday, my grandpa's birthday and I got busy again with real estate- put buyers into contract, took some listings.

Nana has gotten worse. She was duing fantastic in January but then seemed to just not get any better. In fact, she got worse. She is pretty vacant these days, stares at the floor, drools at times. You can tell when she is with us, when she laughs at a joke I think I have my nanny back.

I am learning to enjoy the little momemts. Sundays are my nana days. I honestly don't know how much time I have left with her mentally she is slipping so fast. So on Sundays I go up and help her get dressed, curl her hair etc while papa goes into town- we go out to lunch etc.

We are learning to work about this- papa is...trying to work around it. I still don't think he realizes that we can still live our lives. We can travel etc. He keeps saying "this isn't how I envisioned us living out the last years of our lives". He is starting to use it as an excuse. We are trying to make him see this isn't the end of everything. That Nana will enjoy traveling. We just have to DO IT. He FINALLY got a homeaide to help a few nights a week. It has help take the pressure off him a lot.

I am going to be writing a lot more about my experiences with my nana and her little sayings and stories. She is still the funniest person I know. 

In other news!

Meggles Photography is official! http://www.megglesphotos.com/

The Winnie's got married!

Dementia is taking her

My Nana.

Dementia started out slow. For the last year or so we kept saying she has "early onset dementia". That however is no longer true. It's taking her. For the last 6 months I have done nothing but research as much as I can about it. The signs, what to say, how to say it etc. This past month has been horrible. She wakes up terrified. Papa doesn't get much sleep. He is exhausted. Nana LOOKS like someone who has it. she makes 'the face', she fidgets, she cocks her head to the side. I can tell when it comes and goes. She checks to make sure she has her pink croc shoes on every 10 mins when it is coming and going. She can sit and have a conversation with me one minute and then be vacant the next. I should have prepared myself better. 6 months ago she forgot who I was for about 2 mins. I should have known then what was to come.

My papa

He was never meant to be a caregiver. Bless his heart- he just wasn't born with a patient bone in his body. Nana did the raising, he worked. I have bought him some books to help coach him a bit in how to talk to her, how to give her tasks to do. The words coming out of his mouth says he knows it will only get worse yet he still thinks she will just snap out of it. He used the words "care facility" while I was up there this weekend.

What keeps me up at night

I am so torn with how I feel. She is my nana, my mom, my best friend all in one. I know papa is tired but there are other options. I think we need to get her a friend, a nurse trained for this to help with the eventual transition into a care facility we know she will need to go to once we completely lose her. Will she scream for us at night? will her last memory of us be that we put her in a facility? Will she ever forgive us? This is what keeps me up at night in tears. I know that she will have to be in one eventually. I just hope she doesn't know who we are when that time comes.

She has an appointment with the brain doctor dec. 1st. That will give us an idea of how bad it is. What SUCKS about this- she is AWARE of what is happenning to her and it scares the CRAP out of her. She blames herself, thinks it's her own fault for what is wrong with her.

Even with all of this happenning to her, she still cracks jokes like no other. Still sings along to her lawerence welk shows, can still read my mind and cheer me up on a moments notice. I will miss that when this disease takes over. I will miss her.

For right now I will enjoy the time I have with her while I still get the chance.

snuggle bunnies

J & J wedding!

Baby Gavin is here!

Garcia Family Reunion- family photos

Oblah Di, Oblah da..life goes ooo..ooon.

My kittens are over 6 months old now. I heart them!

I have been finishing up some photo editing from the past 3 weddings. I love this photo.

I have so much to do before a couple mini vacations!

• Closing a deal mid october


• car is almost paid off..can't wait to sell it and get a neeeew one. I need a big girl real estate agent car. Big enough to put my signs and clients in!


• Little trip to Utah at the end of october and again for Thanksgiving


• finish one of my classes for my broker's license


• Wedding photoshoot the weekend before I leave for Utah this month


• 2 other family photoshoots